We are finally in Utah. We are not totally homeless, thanks to my parents and an empty basement apartment.
I am making some changes... not big ones... around here and I'm going to be posting a ton of stuff soon.
Until then... enjoy some of these flashbacks
What did I do today?? {Feb. 2008} A poem that describes all Moms.
Dear to my Heart {May 2008} We are trying to teach the boys about love and sacrifice of those that fought and died for this great country of ours.
Oh, Tommy {January 2008} This one is funny. Tommy was suppose to e asleep.... he wasn't.
FIRE!! {May 2009} Tommy saved the day!!
This would only happen to me {November 2009} I like nature... but not in the house!
Walking can be dangerous {February 2011} Poor Tim!
Bravery {October 2011} I did a blog hop, and Cocoa from Chocolate on my Cranium wanted to know what we thought of word Bravery.
Back at the Beach {August 2012} Always a good time at the beach.
Better than a Super Hero {January 2013} Brothers are the best!!
I think most of my posts are a good read... if I do say so myself.... but these ones are fun and you can see how my cute bunch of boys are and how they have grown.
I'll be back to regular posting soon and I'll get you all caught up on our life.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The Mormon Mecca
As we get ready to trek back across the United States to Utah I was thinking about how many have made this trip. Some to live and others just to see it.
Many of you know that Utah is the head quarters for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is where the Saints finally settled down after being driven from place to place before eventually being driven from what was the US at that time.
Many LDS people feel inspired to see the place where the early saints called home. Many will travel from their homes at least once, drawn to the place that the saints were call to. To see the Salt Lake Temple, to be a part of the community of the Church, to smell the very identifiable smell of funeral potatoes.
So as I am here getting ready to move back to this place that I called home long ago, I am remembering some of the things about Utah that make it so unique.
Of course we'll start with the obvious, the Salt Lake Temple. Even if you are not a part of my faith, if you go to Utah you need to see this marvel. All of the stones were cut from the mountain and brought down one by one with oxen. It's an Architects dream. And the Tabernacle, home to the famous MoTab choir,{that's Mormon Tabernacle Choir}
Then there is the way Salt Lake was set up. Every place should have done it just like Utah did. The city is set up on the grid system.... every street has a North or South coordinate AND an East or West coordinate. If someone gives you the address of 1700 E. and 3200 S in Salt Lake. You can drive directly there. The GPS is always nice to have but you don't really need it in Utah. I mean really... if I gave you the address 1575 Tulip Dr. in Charlotte would you even know which way to start driving?? Nope. People the grid system is the way to go.
The mountains. This is where I belong. I love the feeling of being surrounded by all the mountains. And weirdly enough I don't have my irrational fears of natural disaster about anything in this state. Oh I know about the earthquakes and the fact that the mountains can crumble inward and stuff, but looking at the mountains that circle me.... well... I just don't care. Being within the "shadows of the everlasting hills"... I say crumble away!
And we all know us Mormons like our food storage. I love that all the homes are built with extra big pantries. When people add on to their home in Utah, it is usually for the food storage that they have. And on top of that.... if you look under beds in a Utah home probably about 8 times out of 10 you'll find food storage under there.
Seriously... Utah is the mini van capitol of the world.... with the "not-so-average-number" of children in a family, we need a way to transport all the people. Mini vans are the way to go. And don't forget the family decal on the back... the husband... the wife... the 6 kids... the 4 dogs... the 2 cats and the fish.
And really... Mormons know how to do pot lucks!! When you go to a ward party you usually end up with a bigger selection of food than at most buffets! Anything and everything you could ever think of to eat is usually at a ward function. {and I should say too... many things that should never be consumed by humans}
Along with the ward potlucks.... I'll just say one word.... JELLO. You really don't know how many different ways you can have Jello until you have see them all lined up on a table and no two are the same.... I mean really... who thought carrots and raisins in Jello would be a good thing {gross}???
The Mormons have there own name for things... like the famous Funeral Potatoes. I had never heard of this dish until some was brought to me that was left over after a funeral... I thought it was odd, but what ever. Not to long after that a sign up list was going around for food for a function. On it they needed 3 people to bring funeral potatoes... I was worried! I asked who had died. Does the family need help with anything else. That was the day I found out that funeral potatoes can be eaten at other times, and not just at funerals.
Red and Blue are dangerous colors!! There are two big colleges in Utah... BYU and UofU. If you are in Salt Lake and are wearing blue you may be hogtied and questioned. The UofU doesn't take kindly to those of Y sort.... And if you are caught wearing red in Cougar territory I'm pretty sure you'll be taken to a dark room and be forced to listen to "Ever Clean" by the boy band Sons of Provo. People this is serious stuff! And we won't even start with what happens to the BYU fans if they are up north in Aggie area.... somethings are better left unsaid. {~shutter~}
Utah is home to some of best outdoor recreation. There is skiing, hiking, 4-wheeling, rock climbing and so much more. It's the place of Arches, and 7 National Parks! It really is home to the greatest snow on earth.... even if that snow happens to be in May.
Utah is a beautiful place with it's own unique culture, and I'm excited to go back. Everyone should see Utah and experience it at least once in there life. But please don't trust the Jello!
Can you think of anything that I missed that is unique to Utah??
Many of you know that Utah is the head quarters for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is where the Saints finally settled down after being driven from place to place before eventually being driven from what was the US at that time.
Many LDS people feel inspired to see the place where the early saints called home. Many will travel from their homes at least once, drawn to the place that the saints were call to. To see the Salt Lake Temple, to be a part of the community of the Church, to smell the very identifiable smell of funeral potatoes.
So as I am here getting ready to move back to this place that I called home long ago, I am remembering some of the things about Utah that make it so unique.
Of course we'll start with the obvious, the Salt Lake Temple. Even if you are not a part of my faith, if you go to Utah you need to see this marvel. All of the stones were cut from the mountain and brought down one by one with oxen. It's an Architects dream. And the Tabernacle, home to the famous MoTab choir,{that's Mormon Tabernacle Choir}
Then there is the way Salt Lake was set up. Every place should have done it just like Utah did. The city is set up on the grid system.... every street has a North or South coordinate AND an East or West coordinate. If someone gives you the address of 1700 E. and 3200 S in Salt Lake. You can drive directly there. The GPS is always nice to have but you don't really need it in Utah. I mean really... if I gave you the address 1575 Tulip Dr. in Charlotte would you even know which way to start driving?? Nope. People the grid system is the way to go.
The mountains. This is where I belong. I love the feeling of being surrounded by all the mountains. And weirdly enough I don't have my irrational fears of natural disaster about anything in this state. Oh I know about the earthquakes and the fact that the mountains can crumble inward and stuff, but looking at the mountains that circle me.... well... I just don't care. Being within the "shadows of the everlasting hills"... I say crumble away!
And we all know us Mormons like our food storage. I love that all the homes are built with extra big pantries. When people add on to their home in Utah, it is usually for the food storage that they have. And on top of that.... if you look under beds in a Utah home probably about 8 times out of 10 you'll find food storage under there.
Seriously... Utah is the mini van capitol of the world.... with the "not-so-average-number" of children in a family, we need a way to transport all the people. Mini vans are the way to go. And don't forget the family decal on the back... the husband... the wife... the 6 kids... the 4 dogs... the 2 cats and the fish.
And really... Mormons know how to do pot lucks!! When you go to a ward party you usually end up with a bigger selection of food than at most buffets! Anything and everything you could ever think of to eat is usually at a ward function. {and I should say too... many things that should never be consumed by humans}
Along with the ward potlucks.... I'll just say one word.... JELLO. You really don't know how many different ways you can have Jello until you have see them all lined up on a table and no two are the same.... I mean really... who thought carrots and raisins in Jello would be a good thing {gross}???
The Mormons have there own name for things... like the famous Funeral Potatoes. I had never heard of this dish until some was brought to me that was left over after a funeral... I thought it was odd, but what ever. Not to long after that a sign up list was going around for food for a function. On it they needed 3 people to bring funeral potatoes... I was worried! I asked who had died. Does the family need help with anything else. That was the day I found out that funeral potatoes can be eaten at other times, and not just at funerals.
Red and Blue are dangerous colors!! There are two big colleges in Utah... BYU and UofU. If you are in Salt Lake and are wearing blue you may be hogtied and questioned. The UofU doesn't take kindly to those of Y sort.... And if you are caught wearing red in Cougar territory I'm pretty sure you'll be taken to a dark room and be forced to listen to "Ever Clean" by the boy band Sons of Provo. People this is serious stuff! And we won't even start with what happens to the BYU fans if they are up north in Aggie area.... somethings are better left unsaid. {~shutter~}
Utah is home to some of best outdoor recreation. There is skiing, hiking, 4-wheeling, rock climbing and so much more. It's the place of Arches, and 7 National Parks! It really is home to the greatest snow on earth.... even if that snow happens to be in May.
Utah is a beautiful place with it's own unique culture, and I'm excited to go back. Everyone should see Utah and experience it at least once in there life. But please don't trust the Jello!
Can you think of anything that I missed that is unique to Utah??
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Are we there yet?
On Friday we usually have pizza and a movie... on the watch list tonight, WALL~E. A cute movie and it was so fun to watch Benji watch the movie for the first time.
As I was watching the movie with my brood, I noticed something.... something very sad.
This movie is set in the distant, but not so unrealistic future...
The opening of this movie you see a robot cleaning up and finding random pieces of garbage that he collects as his treasures... garbage that we left behind
The movie goes one {if you haven't seen it, you should it's a cute movie..}
Anyway, they get to the ship that is in outer space called the Axiom. And here is where I start seeing things.
First, everyone is the same, everyone has the same clothes, and sitting in the same chairs. I would bet that everyone has the same living conditions as everyone else.... hum.... sound familiar?? It does to me. Today every one is calling for equality, whether it is worked for or not, whether you were born in the country or not, whether you are smart or not.... everyone needs to be equal.
Next you see people sitting next to each other talking to each other through what we would call video chat. True story... I saw two girls sitting on oppisite side of the room texting each other {I asked who they were texting, that's how I knew} how sad that we live in world were face to face communications are becoming less and less.
Then there is the Captain, he tries to figure out what a manual is. A robot shows him how to open a book. Think of today, now I love technology as much as the next person. And I'm thankful that our books are being stored in a digital way, but do you think there could be a time when one may not even know what to do with a book??
We see people playing virtual games of tennis and golf. All they are doing is pushing a button on their screen. How familiar... there are video games of sports now... you don't even have to leave your house to play a round of golf or a game of baseball, you can do it all from the comfort of you couch. What ever happen to playing a game of kickball in the street with all the neighbor kids?
There's the shakes that people are sucking from.... I did a whole post on this topic a year ago. It's so easy now to blend your meal into a shake form and drink it down. What ever happen to real food? What happen to fruits and vegetables being best for you?? Now it's powder out of a can and mixed with water is what is suppose to be better for you than an apple or a carrot??
When the Axiom makes it back to Earth the Captain is excited to plant in the ground the plant that was found and brought to the ship.... they were going to grow tomatoes "and pizza". It's funny and the boys laughed at it, we all know that pizza doesn't grow. But what about the rest of our food? Do we really know where it comes from? Sadly I do know kids that don't know what animal produces beef. Everything just comes from the store.
And then there is the big store that everything comes from. In the movie it is called 'Buy n Large'. This mega corporation has taken over and everything that is used comes from this store. Hummmm... I dare to say a lot like, oh I don't know, say Walmart. Honestly, I don't like going to Walmart at all!!! But they have everything and so when I am with all 5 boys and I need to pick up groceries, and paper for the printer, and socks for the boys, and a roll of ribbon for a project, and.... and.... and.... They have everything for a truly one stop shopping. Do you ever think Walmart will truly take over, putting everyone else out of business?? I hope not, but they have created a niche for our fast paced society to have everything in one spot.
Yes, everything in the movie WALL~E is exaggerated but I think there are some... a lot... of truth to it.... and not in a good way.
What do you think.... am I right? A little maybe? Or do you think I am totally off base?
As I was watching the movie with my brood, I noticed something.... something very sad.
This movie is set in the distant, but not so unrealistic future...
The opening of this movie you see a robot cleaning up and finding random pieces of garbage that he collects as his treasures... garbage that we left behind
The movie goes one {if you haven't seen it, you should it's a cute movie..}
Anyway, they get to the ship that is in outer space called the Axiom. And here is where I start seeing things.
First, everyone is the same, everyone has the same clothes, and sitting in the same chairs. I would bet that everyone has the same living conditions as everyone else.... hum.... sound familiar?? It does to me. Today every one is calling for equality, whether it is worked for or not, whether you were born in the country or not, whether you are smart or not.... everyone needs to be equal.
Next you see people sitting next to each other talking to each other through what we would call video chat. True story... I saw two girls sitting on oppisite side of the room texting each other {I asked who they were texting, that's how I knew} how sad that we live in world were face to face communications are becoming less and less.
Then there is the Captain, he tries to figure out what a manual is. A robot shows him how to open a book. Think of today, now I love technology as much as the next person. And I'm thankful that our books are being stored in a digital way, but do you think there could be a time when one may not even know what to do with a book??
We see people playing virtual games of tennis and golf. All they are doing is pushing a button on their screen. How familiar... there are video games of sports now... you don't even have to leave your house to play a round of golf or a game of baseball, you can do it all from the comfort of you couch. What ever happen to playing a game of kickball in the street with all the neighbor kids?
There's the shakes that people are sucking from.... I did a whole post on this topic a year ago. It's so easy now to blend your meal into a shake form and drink it down. What ever happen to real food? What happen to fruits and vegetables being best for you?? Now it's powder out of a can and mixed with water is what is suppose to be better for you than an apple or a carrot??
When the Axiom makes it back to Earth the Captain is excited to plant in the ground the plant that was found and brought to the ship.... they were going to grow tomatoes "and pizza". It's funny and the boys laughed at it, we all know that pizza doesn't grow. But what about the rest of our food? Do we really know where it comes from? Sadly I do know kids that don't know what animal produces beef. Everything just comes from the store.
And then there is the big store that everything comes from. In the movie it is called 'Buy n Large'. This mega corporation has taken over and everything that is used comes from this store. Hummmm... I dare to say a lot like, oh I don't know, say Walmart. Honestly, I don't like going to Walmart at all!!! But they have everything and so when I am with all 5 boys and I need to pick up groceries, and paper for the printer, and socks for the boys, and a roll of ribbon for a project, and.... and.... and.... They have everything for a truly one stop shopping. Do you ever think Walmart will truly take over, putting everyone else out of business?? I hope not, but they have created a niche for our fast paced society to have everything in one spot.
Yes, everything in the movie WALL~E is exaggerated but I think there are some... a lot... of truth to it.... and not in a good way.
What do you think.... am I right? A little maybe? Or do you think I am totally off base?
Labels:
Soap Box
Thursday, April 11, 2013
My day in a rather large nutshell
Steve is out of town this week, he is in Utah interviewing for a job.
So I'm flying solo.
It's really not to bad. I've done it before.... but at night looking back at my day, I just laugh.
Seriously I have days that would be perfect for TV!
Sometime between 2am and 6am I got a visitor to my bed. {I don't normally let the boys sleep with me but when dad's gone they sneak in... I don't mind.}
6am - Benji is shaking the baby gate... trying to get out, he can't so he is quiet in his room for a little longer, at this point he usually starts singing quietly getting progressively louder.
6:30am - Benji.... "Mom! I awake! I awake Mom." "Out.... Please out!"
6:35am - Person who is laying next to me "Mom, if I rub your back for a minute, can I go watch TV?" "Um... sure"
6:36am - "There... it's been a minute" Me: "please let Benji out and get him some juice"
6:37am -Stomping all the way into my room "MOM!! I awake!!" At which point my darling toddler starts going though all my things, crawling into bed and like a worm wiggles his way down to the bottom of the sheets. He runs over and is now playing with my door and then takes off down stairs to be with his brothers. He goes down on his stomach feet first squealing all the way down.
6:43am - Benji brings to me {in bed} his sippy cup -with all the parts- and the juice.
7:00am - All the boys {except Swim} are awake and down stairs. They are quietly watching TV it doesn't sound like cartoons so I go down to make sure it's appropriate for them to watch... It was some history on dinosaurs something... It was ok. I walk into the kitchen area to get a bottle for Swim and take it back upstairs for when he wakes up.
I see half of the bag of cherrios all over the table because Benji tried to pour, he managed to get it everywhere except the bowl that was sitting out, {thankfully he hasn't tried with milk yet!} and Benji was sitting on the floor sharing a bagel with the dog.
7:15am - Swim wakes up. I feed him, and while he is having a bottle I am reading my scriptures. I play with him for a bit and then decide I'm going to take a shower.
7:20am - I take Swim down stairs and let the boys know I will be taking a shower and give them instructions for Swim.
7:25 am -I am in the shower ready to practice my debut song for The Voice when I hear the door open. Standing there is a naked toddler "I take shower mama" as he steps in. {note to self....remember to shut door all the way, and to clothe the toddler completely making it harder for him to strip down}
7:50 am - both Benji and I are clean and dressed.
8:00-9:30 am - We pick up the house and do a few chores... We find where socks like to hide... under the couch as there were 7 socks that were found. We also are able to practice pushing Swim in the little swing in a way that doesn't eject him from the seat. We find Benji's hiding spot for a block of nibbled on cheese... thankful it was still cold so it had to have only been out of the fridge for a little while.... {note to self... check the rest of the cupboard for more food that Benji might have nibbled on} We learned that there is a proper way to use the vacuum, and that holding it up to your nose does do a better job than having to blow, but it is not recommended. Also when mom says the vacuum will suck up everything... she is right. {the little lego man didn't stand a chance}
9:37 am - I declare that we are leaving the house! We are going to go for a hike up at Latta Plantation, and that everyone needs to be dressed and ready.
~let the chaos commence~
9:40-10:30am - One child had be reminded no less than 6 time to get dressed as he kept getting distracted. We only had one shoe for Benji. Someone was positive that it was under the couch, or in the bathroom.... it was found in the cupboard. We had to do another clean up of the play room because in the excitement of getting ready to leave all the toys needed to be poured out and played with. Benji decided to change outfits 3 times. And Swim fell asleep, and then had to be woken up to be changed and then put into his carseat, which some great helper clipped it all together in a knot. So I had to take the baby out and fix the problem.
10:32am - I go to my room to get my shoes. I find that my door is locked. Remember how Benji was playing with my door earlier.... well... he locked it and shut it. I found a bobby pin and unlocked to door.
10:40am -FINALLY all 12 kids.... ok, only 5 but sometimes it really does seem like 12 were in the car. We back out and then the plea of taking Captain with us comes from the back. -This actually seems like a good idea because then we can't go into the Nature Center... which we like but then it's hard to pull a certain little one away from all the aquariums to tap on. So in jumps the dog.
11:10 am - Make our way to Latta, and yeah, one last parking spot. I get everyone out, the dog leashed up the baby in the front carrier and Benji.... Benji.... hum... He took himself down the trial. Tommy runs to catch up with him.
11:20-12:30pm - the Hike....
Remember how I said bringing the dog was a good idea. That was until I had a hold of the dog in one hand and carrying Benji, and having Swim in my front.... why you ask??? well because there was mud. I didn't want to deal with a muddy Benji, and dog... I thought the other boys would be ok... false hope.
We did see a frog... that Benji tried to get to jump into his hand
and a snake... the boys were sure it was a black racer and while those snakes are not poisonous, the boys have been know to be wrong before.
and we smelt a skunk... and Captain stuck his head into every bush that smelled like the skunk... I'm pretty sure we were close.
We hiked until we came to the road. We decided to walk along the road back to the car rather than wind our way back through the woods. That took longer than going up and down the hills! The only reason Benji kept walking was because I had his cup in the car for him, other wise I'm pretty sure he would have just sat down in the road.
1.5 miles later... we made it back alive. The boys were pretty shocked that we were alive... they kept complaining that they were going to die.
12:30pm - all are back in the car. And crap... I forgot that Tommy had piano lessons that day. We rush home to be there for his lessons.
1:00pm - make it home just in time for lessons.
1:00-1:30pm -Get the screaming baby out of the car seat to be fed, Get the screaming toddler out of the car and feed him. Get the tired boys out of the car and get them fed. Tommy's pour teacher walk into screaming chaos!
Piano teacher comes early and Tommy plays away.
At some point everyone was fed because the remains of lunch were left about.
2:30pm - Benji starts yelling at everybody and putting them in time out. I put him down for a nap.
2:30-4:00pm - Things are relatively quiet, I think things are safe.... when will I learn. The boys' closet has been transformed into some sort of space vehicle and the contents of the closet are all over the bedroom. I guess there needed to be room for more rocket boosters.
4:00-5:00pm -clean up happens... again.
5:00pm -Crap.... all these little people want to eat again.
5:15pm - neighbor kids are outside so the boys take off to play a little before it gets dark. Benji, who has changed outfits again is trying to go outside too....
5:17pm - I bribe Benji to stay in the house with Raisets..... He's a runner ....and Swim was up.... and I didn't feel like chasing him down the street.
7:30pm..... Ooooo it's getting close
8:00pm - Bedtime craziness ensues! The stinkest people get showered, we nearly have to hog tie Benji from stripping down to get into the shower again. Towels, underwear, and random socks go flying... at which point I notice that Swim has fallen asleep. {really!!}
8:42pm - Scriptures are read... prayers are said... and all the kids are in the proper room.
8:47pm - Tim is crying because Benji bit him - He goes in the room with Tommy and James to sleep in peace.
8:52pm -Swim wakes up from his power nap and is hungry.... I get him fed than he is happy to just hang out with me.
10:04pm - Benji's wall banging has finally stopped and his singing is now at a whisper. Swim is still happy and we are still awake.
11:58pm.... Swim is finally tired, and not so cute any more. He is fed one last time and put to bed.
12:00am - The house is finally quiet!! Dishes are done quickly and the dog is let out one last time.
12:30am - Finally!! I get to get into bed, I walk into my room and I find one little person in my bed asleep. I slide into our KING size bed and the little body scoots over to be nearly on top of me, heaves one last sigh and is sleeping deeply.
I love being a mom... but some days are more exhausting than others, and usually those are the days that get laughed at!
So I'm flying solo.
It's really not to bad. I've done it before.... but at night looking back at my day, I just laugh.
Seriously I have days that would be perfect for TV!
Sometime between 2am and 6am I got a visitor to my bed. {I don't normally let the boys sleep with me but when dad's gone they sneak in... I don't mind.}
6am - Benji is shaking the baby gate... trying to get out, he can't so he is quiet in his room for a little longer, at this point he usually starts singing quietly getting progressively louder.
6:30am - Benji.... "Mom! I awake! I awake Mom." "Out.... Please out!"
6:35am - Person who is laying next to me "Mom, if I rub your back for a minute, can I go watch TV?" "Um... sure"
6:36am - "There... it's been a minute" Me: "please let Benji out and get him some juice"
6:37am -Stomping all the way into my room "MOM!! I awake!!" At which point my darling toddler starts going though all my things, crawling into bed and like a worm wiggles his way down to the bottom of the sheets. He runs over and is now playing with my door and then takes off down stairs to be with his brothers. He goes down on his stomach feet first squealing all the way down.
6:43am - Benji brings to me {in bed} his sippy cup -with all the parts- and the juice.
7:00am - All the boys {except Swim} are awake and down stairs. They are quietly watching TV it doesn't sound like cartoons so I go down to make sure it's appropriate for them to watch... It was some history on dinosaurs something... It was ok. I walk into the kitchen area to get a bottle for Swim and take it back upstairs for when he wakes up.
I see half of the bag of cherrios all over the table because Benji tried to pour, he managed to get it everywhere except the bowl that was sitting out, {thankfully he hasn't tried with milk yet!} and Benji was sitting on the floor sharing a bagel with the dog.
7:15am - Swim wakes up. I feed him, and while he is having a bottle I am reading my scriptures. I play with him for a bit and then decide I'm going to take a shower.
7:20am - I take Swim down stairs and let the boys know I will be taking a shower and give them instructions for Swim.
7:25 am -I am in the shower ready to practice my debut song for The Voice when I hear the door open. Standing there is a naked toddler "I take shower mama" as he steps in. {note to self....remember to shut door all the way, and to clothe the toddler completely making it harder for him to strip down}
7:50 am - both Benji and I are clean and dressed.
8:00-9:30 am - We pick up the house and do a few chores... We find where socks like to hide... under the couch as there were 7 socks that were found. We also are able to practice pushing Swim in the little swing in a way that doesn't eject him from the seat. We find Benji's hiding spot for a block of nibbled on cheese... thankful it was still cold so it had to have only been out of the fridge for a little while.... {note to self... check the rest of the cupboard for more food that Benji might have nibbled on} We learned that there is a proper way to use the vacuum, and that holding it up to your nose does do a better job than having to blow, but it is not recommended. Also when mom says the vacuum will suck up everything... she is right. {the little lego man didn't stand a chance}
9:37 am - I declare that we are leaving the house! We are going to go for a hike up at Latta Plantation, and that everyone needs to be dressed and ready.
~let the chaos commence~
9:40-10:30am - One child had be reminded no less than 6 time to get dressed as he kept getting distracted. We only had one shoe for Benji. Someone was positive that it was under the couch, or in the bathroom.... it was found in the cupboard. We had to do another clean up of the play room because in the excitement of getting ready to leave all the toys needed to be poured out and played with. Benji decided to change outfits 3 times. And Swim fell asleep, and then had to be woken up to be changed and then put into his carseat, which some great helper clipped it all together in a knot. So I had to take the baby out and fix the problem.
10:32am - I go to my room to get my shoes. I find that my door is locked. Remember how Benji was playing with my door earlier.... well... he locked it and shut it. I found a bobby pin and unlocked to door.
10:40am -FINALLY all 12 kids.... ok, only 5 but sometimes it really does seem like 12 were in the car. We back out and then the plea of taking Captain with us comes from the back. -This actually seems like a good idea because then we can't go into the Nature Center... which we like but then it's hard to pull a certain little one away from all the aquariums to tap on. So in jumps the dog.
11:10 am - Make our way to Latta, and yeah, one last parking spot. I get everyone out, the dog leashed up the baby in the front carrier and Benji.... Benji.... hum... He took himself down the trial. Tommy runs to catch up with him.
11:20-12:30pm - the Hike....
Remember how I said bringing the dog was a good idea. That was until I had a hold of the dog in one hand and carrying Benji, and having Swim in my front.... why you ask??? well because there was mud. I didn't want to deal with a muddy Benji, and dog... I thought the other boys would be ok... false hope.
We did see a frog... that Benji tried to get to jump into his hand
and a snake... the boys were sure it was a black racer and while those snakes are not poisonous, the boys have been know to be wrong before.
and we smelt a skunk... and Captain stuck his head into every bush that smelled like the skunk... I'm pretty sure we were close.
We hiked until we came to the road. We decided to walk along the road back to the car rather than wind our way back through the woods. That took longer than going up and down the hills! The only reason Benji kept walking was because I had his cup in the car for him, other wise I'm pretty sure he would have just sat down in the road.
1.5 miles later... we made it back alive. The boys were pretty shocked that we were alive... they kept complaining that they were going to die.
12:30pm - all are back in the car. And crap... I forgot that Tommy had piano lessons that day. We rush home to be there for his lessons.
1:00pm - make it home just in time for lessons.
1:00-1:30pm -Get the screaming baby out of the car seat to be fed, Get the screaming toddler out of the car and feed him. Get the tired boys out of the car and get them fed. Tommy's pour teacher walk into screaming chaos!
Piano teacher comes early and Tommy plays away.
At some point everyone was fed because the remains of lunch were left about.
2:30pm - Benji starts yelling at everybody and putting them in time out. I put him down for a nap.
2:30-4:00pm - Things are relatively quiet, I think things are safe.... when will I learn. The boys' closet has been transformed into some sort of space vehicle and the contents of the closet are all over the bedroom. I guess there needed to be room for more rocket boosters.
4:00-5:00pm -clean up happens... again.
5:00pm -Crap.... all these little people want to eat again.
5:15pm - neighbor kids are outside so the boys take off to play a little before it gets dark. Benji, who has changed outfits again is trying to go outside too....
5:17pm - I bribe Benji to stay in the house with Raisets..... He's a runner ....and Swim was up.... and I didn't feel like chasing him down the street.
7:30pm..... Ooooo it's getting close
8:00pm - Bedtime craziness ensues! The stinkest people get showered, we nearly have to hog tie Benji from stripping down to get into the shower again. Towels, underwear, and random socks go flying... at which point I notice that Swim has fallen asleep. {really!!}
8:42pm - Scriptures are read... prayers are said... and all the kids are in the proper room.
8:47pm - Tim is crying because Benji bit him - He goes in the room with Tommy and James to sleep in peace.
8:52pm -Swim wakes up from his power nap and is hungry.... I get him fed than he is happy to just hang out with me.
10:04pm - Benji's wall banging has finally stopped and his singing is now at a whisper. Swim is still happy and we are still awake.
11:58pm.... Swim is finally tired, and not so cute any more. He is fed one last time and put to bed.
12:00am - The house is finally quiet!! Dishes are done quickly and the dog is let out one last time.
12:30am - Finally!! I get to get into bed, I walk into my room and I find one little person in my bed asleep. I slide into our KING size bed and the little body scoots over to be nearly on top of me, heaves one last sigh and is sleeping deeply.
I love being a mom... but some days are more exhausting than others, and usually those are the days that get laughed at!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
On the move... Again!
I just know these things.
I knew it when we were in Utah after Steve's deployment to Iraq.
I knew it when were in Arizona shortly after we got there.
I think the Lord lets me know ahead of time so when it is time to move I have already processed it and it's not overwhelming. I never know how long we will be in a place, I only know that we will eventually be moving.
We are transient people.
But that first night when we were in bed, Steve was sure we would be here awhile. So I let go of the thought that we would be moving. I even entertained the thought of looking at houses and property to purchase.
I have always had this dream of having a white picket fence... watching my kids grow up... and watching them grow up with their friends. Of having the same walking buddy for years and years.
I truly feel blessed to have lived around the United States like I have been. I have meet some incredible people, and have learned so much.
And I have literally been from sea to shining sea.
But now it is time for us to box up our house again. To put it all in a truck and move it back across the country. {again}
We are moving back to Utah. Things haven't worked out here like we had hoped they would. And we have felt a pull to be back near family again. And truly my heart is in the mountains.
So here we go again. I'm pretty sure we keep the tape people in business! All of our stuff goes back into boxes and back on the truck.
I'm not sure if Utah will be a permanent home for us or not. I really hope so.
But if not I'm just going to go to Lowes and buy myself a white picket fence that I can just take with me if we move again.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Eight is pretty much...Awsome
My wonderful son turned 8 in March. Tommy has been looking forward to this birthday for a while. For one it's the birthday that they get to spend the day with just dad. And Tommy has been really into birds of prey lately and we happen to live by a raptor center. Tommy was so excited to go and see the falcons, and eagles they had there.
Also when you are 8, it is the age of accountability. And for those of our faith that is the age that you are able to be baptized into the church, and are ready to make covenants with the Lord.
And that is what he did.
Steve baptized, and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and he also gave Tommy the gift of the Holy Ghost.
It was made really special that my dad was able to be there with us. Tommy is named after my dad and it was so nice that he was able to be there for his baptism.
I love this picture of our family!
Being 8 also means for a boy is the opportunity to join the cub scouts. He was so excited to finally put on that uniform and be a part of the group.
Look at my handsome boy! Tommy you are such a ray of sunlight in my life. You make me smile and laugh out loud, especially with the jokes that you make up.
You are so talented in what ever you try your hand at. Please remember to pick good things.
I love listening to you play the piano! Especially the Hymns. You work hard and with time you will be playing really hard things on the piano.
Tommy you are such a smart boy! I love watching you learn, and seeing you grow. Remember to play fair and to help those that are struggling.
And Tommy, please smile every day! Because when you smile so will everyone else. You are a little brother and a big brother... know that all your brothers love you.
I love you Tommy thank you for being you. I feel so blessed to have you as a part of our family. I am so happy that Heavenly Father chose me to be your mom. I have learned and grown so much by raising you.
I love you Tommy!!
Also when you are 8, it is the age of accountability. And for those of our faith that is the age that you are able to be baptized into the church, and are ready to make covenants with the Lord.
And that is what he did.
Steve baptized, and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and he also gave Tommy the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Being 8 also means for a boy is the opportunity to join the cub scouts. He was so excited to finally put on that uniform and be a part of the group.
Look at my handsome boy! Tommy you are such a ray of sunlight in my life. You make me smile and laugh out loud, especially with the jokes that you make up.
I love you Tommy!!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Passing quickly by
Two months already!! I can hardly believe it.
We definitely have had our ups and downs, but I think we are on a steady climb up. People are sleeping again. We have somewhat of a routine and we are all learning patients again as we learn about this new little one.
He has blue eyes just like his brothers, but different. His are a true blue color. He looks just like the other boys but at different times. When he is sleeping he looks like Tommy. When he is smiling and trying to laugh he looks like Benji. When he is laying and looking around I see James in him. And when you are able to sooth him after crying he will look at you with his big eyes that remind me of Tim. He will grow and although people will know him as one of the Grammer boys he will take on a look of his own.
He likes to be around people he seems most comfortable in the chaos of life that happens around him.
He is so patient with his brothers as they all take turns to hold him. And he doesn't seem to mind being oh-so-loved by Benji.
He is a joy to our family and I am so happy that he is with us.
He has blue eyes just like his brothers, but different. His are a true blue color. He looks just like the other boys but at different times. When he is sleeping he looks like Tommy. When he is smiling and trying to laugh he looks like Benji. When he is laying and looking around I see James in him. And when you are able to sooth him after crying he will look at you with his big eyes that remind me of Tim. He will grow and although people will know him as one of the Grammer boys he will take on a look of his own.
He likes to be around people he seems most comfortable in the chaos of life that happens around him.
He is so patient with his brothers as they all take turns to hold him. And he doesn't seem to mind being oh-so-loved by Benji.
He is a joy to our family and I am so happy that he is with us.
Labels:
Swim
Monday, April 1, 2013
Nearly Impossible...
Anybody who has children and has tried to get their pictures take knows that they have a mind of their own... Well... the more children you have the more minds you have and the less chance you have to getting that perfect shot.
How thankful I am for digital cameras!!! I can take a million pictures and even look at them to see if they are sufficient enough to post for the world to see...
Yeah, I got over that...
To many little people with to many opinions of how they thing the pictures should be taken.
Some turned out good, and I would even say wall worthy...
Look they even all kinda match. AND their hair was brushed! {go mom!!}
Tommy is my blinker... he can smile OR has his eyes open, rarely both at the same time.
Benji was not happy that I put him back on the couch again...
...look.... just when I get a pretty good one of Tommy, James gets all squinty.... I really think they do that on purpose!
Trying a new position... with a new person holding Swim.
These next two pictures are actually really good... at least everyone's eyes are open and looking in the general direction of the camera.
I wanted to get a shot of all their feet.... I thought it turned out kinda cute with Benji sitting up.{know if someone can photoshop me a better backdrop.
Black and white always helps a picture out.
But you know when it comes right down to it... try as you might to capture the perfect family picture in the perfect pose something often seems just.... not the same
How thankful I am for digital cameras!!! I can take a million pictures and even look at them to see if they are sufficient enough to post for the world to see...
Yeah, I got over that...
To many little people with to many opinions of how they thing the pictures should be taken.
Some turned out good, and I would even say wall worthy...
YUP.... This is the one for the frame!!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
She saved the day!
While I was going through a really depressing time after having Swim. I called my mom crying, just not knowing what to do or where to go. That was on a Wednesday.... Thursday night she was at my house. She flew from Utah to come and help me.
I was so happy to have her!
The boys were really excited too. They all have good memories of my mom, from the play set in the back yard, to helping wash the motorcycles, to GeoTrack set that she keeps at her house and the "awesome tracks Grandma can build"
There was one who was not so sure of this woman that the brothers loved... That was Benji. He kept his distance from her. He also kept a close eye on her when she had Swim. He is such a good big brother.
After about two days he would talk more to her and show her things. He didn't want grandma's help with anything but she could sit near him. He started calling her grandPA which was so funny. By the time grandma left they were mostly buddies, Benji would sit on her lap for a moment and they even played cars together.
After my mom left Benji walked around the house looking for and asking for grandpa. I think they bonded...
Here are some pictures of my mom and Swim. She really is the baby whisper-er. She came in and took him that Thursday night and did night duty all week with him. She helped switch his schedule so he would sleep at night. It's amazing what normal sleep will do for people!
The boys had a good time with grandma and loved showing her all the things they could do.
My wonderful family! I really am lucky to have a great family with all my boys, and a wonderful mom who rescued me!
I was so happy to have her!
The boys were really excited too. They all have good memories of my mom, from the play set in the back yard, to helping wash the motorcycles, to GeoTrack set that she keeps at her house and the "awesome tracks Grandma can build"
There was one who was not so sure of this woman that the brothers loved... That was Benji. He kept his distance from her. He also kept a close eye on her when she had Swim. He is such a good big brother.
After my mom left Benji walked around the house looking for and asking for grandpa. I think they bonded...
Here are some pictures of my mom and Swim. She really is the baby whisper-er. She came in and took him that Thursday night and did night duty all week with him. She helped switch his schedule so he would sleep at night. It's amazing what normal sleep will do for people!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
While I wait for my hair to fall out...
My thoughts about Postpartum Depression...
Postpartum is an interesting thing. The way that it effects each woman is different, even how it effects a woman from child to child is so different.
I have never had postpartum before. I had 4 boys and each one came with it's own challenges and struggles. I remember having the blues a few days but never what I would think was full blown PPD. So when it came I was shocked at the way that I felt but I was so depressed that I didn't feel like I could do anything about it.
I'm going to tell you my story and I hope that if you have ever suffered from this know that you are not alone.
Having our fifth boy was so exciting, and for me the fact that I was able to have him naturally like I wanted was the icing on the cake for me. I was told by a few people that because everything went so well that I probably wouldn't have PPD. When I came home from the hospital I felt great. Steve was around to help but I honestly didn't feel like I needed it. So when he went back to work I was felt I was ready for it.
I was even out of the house a week later at our co-op with all the boys. Really the only thing that I struggled with was nursing. Swim was sleeping ok, not great but there was a bed in his room so I would just go in there with him and sleep.
I noticed my moods starting to change when Swim was about 2 weeks old. It was 4:00 in the morning and he was still awake. I finally got him to sleep, and it was a deep enough sleep that I was able to put him down in his crib. The next thing I new I was woken up at 6:30 by other little people needing me. Steve was there but mom is always the first on that is called. Steve did what he could to help but I was already awake. I went down stairs to help get juice and there wasn't a clean sippy cup and I just started to cry. I was able to rinse something out and get juice to Benji, and I set him up in front of the TV. I started to cry again because of my "mom guilt" I realized that he had been watching so much TV. I began to feel like I was neglecting him and all of the other boys. We watch TV but I keep it pretty limited because my boys would sit and watch it all day long.... But I realized that I was only functioning because they were out of my way as I was trying to take care of Swim.
I finally make my way back upstairs and I heard him crying again. It was 7:00am.
This went on for a couple days I would get one good night sleep and several that were bad. I was trying to school the boys and spread my attention around to everyone, even the dog was wanting to touch me all day long. I felt myself slipping away as I tried to be everything for everyone and felt like I was failing at it.
.....the bad things with blogs is that most people only post the good stuff... nobody posts about the bad things the human things....
I stopped blogging, and reading blogs... something that I really love... because it just pushed me into a deeper hole. I stopped enjoying my boys because I felt that I wasn't doing a good enough job at being a mom. I yelled all the time, and the boys would either stay down stairs when I was upstairs with the baby, or they would be in their room while I was down stairs, they didn't want to be near me. I wandered the house seeing everything that needed to be done but to overwhelmed to do anything.
I was to embarrassed to ask for help. I chose this life. I chose to homeschool. I choose to be the supporting wife that moves everywhere. I choose to have another baby. I felt like I had brought all of this on myself. I felt like asking for help would mean that failed.
I would look in the mirror and try to find the person I use to be. I knew this wasn't normal for me, I tried to find the good in life but all I felt was despair. It felt like I was put into a box, I knew I was there, but I couldn't get out. I wouldn't... I didn't feel like it was worth it.
Everything came to an ugly climax one Sunday night. I was up with this precious child, I tried everything to help him to sleep. I NEEDED to sleep. But he kept crying, and fussing. All I could think about was wrapping a blanket around him and putting him outside. If he was outside I wouldn't heat him cry. I thought that if I put a pillow on him I wouldn't hear him cry, and I could sleep.
I started to cry because why would I think these things? My normal self would never hurt my children for any reason, why was I having those thoughts. I took Swim upstairs and put him in his crib. I needed to not be near him. I went back down stairs and I remember pacing the floor trying to think clearly but I couldn't.
That is when I woke up Steve. He held me and tried to calm me down. He put me to bed and then took Swim down stairs. Finally the crying stopped and I fell asleep.
I woke up the next day so detached from Swim. His crying didn't bother me any more, I just didn't care. I did take care of him but not because I wanted to, it was because I had to.
I cried all day because I couldn't make sense of what I was feeling. I cried with Benji after I slammed the door in his face because he needed me again. I cried because one of the others would ask a question or need something and I felt to overwhelmed to deal with even the small things. I had forgotten how to be a mom.
I cried when I called my mom.
She booked a flight to come and help.
I cried knowing she was coming. I was excited to have her come, but my mom is busy. She works for my dad, my sister in law had her baby, my grandparents were moving. Everyone needed her, I felt guilt because she coming to help me.
Having her here was the best thing that could have happened. I felt better knowing that Swim, who didn't do anything wrong, would feel loved. From Sunday to when I put him in his crib, to Thursday night when my mom came, I didn't hold him any more that I needed to.
She came and helped with the boys, the feeding, and taking care of Swim. She took the night shift so I could sleep. She helped to switch his schedule, so he would sleep at night.
I started to feel better. To feel human again. To feel like a mom again. To feel like ME again.
I cried the day mom mom left. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle things with her gone.
But things have gotten better. I tried some medication, and it made me so dizzy, so I tried some herbal supplements and those seem to be helping much better.
I still have days when I look around and feel overwhelmed and just want to hid. I still have times when Swim's crying puts me on edge and I have to walk away. And I still have days where I feel like I have to claw myself out of the box that I was put in. But the good days are starting to out number the bad. I have to remind myself to take it a little at a time. Reminding myself that the clothes on the floor don't matter. That the dust on the shelf will still be there tomorrow. That paper plates are ok to use for dinner. And that the people who come see me are not looking at my failures that are so apparent to me.
I know that I am a good mom, I know that I am a good wife, and I know that I am a good person.
Having postpartum depression is a real thing. And it is something that is not talked about enough. It makes woman feel lonely thinking that they are the only ones that are going through it and there must be something wrong with them. And as women we are good at putting a smile on our face when we are out with others even though we are struggling and then come home and hide to cry or to crawl into bed to shut out the world, or to close the door to the closet and just sit in the dark so the demons that are in her head don't come out.
If you are reading this, and have suffered from PPD you are not alone. Whether you have one child and are having a hard time or 12 children and are feeling the same way you are not alone. I know I only have PPD a small fraction of what others have suffered with it, but it horrible just the same.
We need to help each other and not wait for someone to ask for help. Because the woman who seems to have it all together is not going to ask. We need to be there for each other to life each other and to strengthen each other, and do for each other.
Postpartum is an interesting thing. The way that it effects each woman is different, even how it effects a woman from child to child is so different.
I have never had postpartum before. I had 4 boys and each one came with it's own challenges and struggles. I remember having the blues a few days but never what I would think was full blown PPD. So when it came I was shocked at the way that I felt but I was so depressed that I didn't feel like I could do anything about it.
I'm going to tell you my story and I hope that if you have ever suffered from this know that you are not alone.
{if you are prone to judgement you may click on by right now}
Having our fifth boy was so exciting, and for me the fact that I was able to have him naturally like I wanted was the icing on the cake for me. I was told by a few people that because everything went so well that I probably wouldn't have PPD. When I came home from the hospital I felt great. Steve was around to help but I honestly didn't feel like I needed it. So when he went back to work I was felt I was ready for it.
I was even out of the house a week later at our co-op with all the boys. Really the only thing that I struggled with was nursing. Swim was sleeping ok, not great but there was a bed in his room so I would just go in there with him and sleep.
I noticed my moods starting to change when Swim was about 2 weeks old. It was 4:00 in the morning and he was still awake. I finally got him to sleep, and it was a deep enough sleep that I was able to put him down in his crib. The next thing I new I was woken up at 6:30 by other little people needing me. Steve was there but mom is always the first on that is called. Steve did what he could to help but I was already awake. I went down stairs to help get juice and there wasn't a clean sippy cup and I just started to cry. I was able to rinse something out and get juice to Benji, and I set him up in front of the TV. I started to cry again because of my "mom guilt" I realized that he had been watching so much TV. I began to feel like I was neglecting him and all of the other boys. We watch TV but I keep it pretty limited because my boys would sit and watch it all day long.... But I realized that I was only functioning because they were out of my way as I was trying to take care of Swim.
I finally make my way back upstairs and I heard him crying again. It was 7:00am.
This went on for a couple days I would get one good night sleep and several that were bad. I was trying to school the boys and spread my attention around to everyone, even the dog was wanting to touch me all day long. I felt myself slipping away as I tried to be everything for everyone and felt like I was failing at it.
.....the bad things with blogs is that most people only post the good stuff... nobody posts about the bad things the human things....
I stopped blogging, and reading blogs... something that I really love... because it just pushed me into a deeper hole. I stopped enjoying my boys because I felt that I wasn't doing a good enough job at being a mom. I yelled all the time, and the boys would either stay down stairs when I was upstairs with the baby, or they would be in their room while I was down stairs, they didn't want to be near me. I wandered the house seeing everything that needed to be done but to overwhelmed to do anything.
I was to embarrassed to ask for help. I chose this life. I chose to homeschool. I choose to be the supporting wife that moves everywhere. I choose to have another baby. I felt like I had brought all of this on myself. I felt like asking for help would mean that failed.
I would look in the mirror and try to find the person I use to be. I knew this wasn't normal for me, I tried to find the good in life but all I felt was despair. It felt like I was put into a box, I knew I was there, but I couldn't get out. I wouldn't... I didn't feel like it was worth it.
Everything came to an ugly climax one Sunday night. I was up with this precious child, I tried everything to help him to sleep. I NEEDED to sleep. But he kept crying, and fussing. All I could think about was wrapping a blanket around him and putting him outside. If he was outside I wouldn't heat him cry. I thought that if I put a pillow on him I wouldn't hear him cry, and I could sleep.
I started to cry because why would I think these things? My normal self would never hurt my children for any reason, why was I having those thoughts. I took Swim upstairs and put him in his crib. I needed to not be near him. I went back down stairs and I remember pacing the floor trying to think clearly but I couldn't.
That is when I woke up Steve. He held me and tried to calm me down. He put me to bed and then took Swim down stairs. Finally the crying stopped and I fell asleep.
I woke up the next day so detached from Swim. His crying didn't bother me any more, I just didn't care. I did take care of him but not because I wanted to, it was because I had to.
I cried all day because I couldn't make sense of what I was feeling. I cried with Benji after I slammed the door in his face because he needed me again. I cried because one of the others would ask a question or need something and I felt to overwhelmed to deal with even the small things. I had forgotten how to be a mom.
I cried when I called my mom.
She booked a flight to come and help.
I cried knowing she was coming. I was excited to have her come, but my mom is busy. She works for my dad, my sister in law had her baby, my grandparents were moving. Everyone needed her, I felt guilt because she coming to help me.
Having her here was the best thing that could have happened. I felt better knowing that Swim, who didn't do anything wrong, would feel loved. From Sunday to when I put him in his crib, to Thursday night when my mom came, I didn't hold him any more that I needed to.
She came and helped with the boys, the feeding, and taking care of Swim. She took the night shift so I could sleep. She helped to switch his schedule, so he would sleep at night.
I started to feel better. To feel human again. To feel like a mom again. To feel like ME again.
I cried the day mom mom left. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle things with her gone.
But things have gotten better. I tried some medication, and it made me so dizzy, so I tried some herbal supplements and those seem to be helping much better.
I still have days when I look around and feel overwhelmed and just want to hid. I still have times when Swim's crying puts me on edge and I have to walk away. And I still have days where I feel like I have to claw myself out of the box that I was put in. But the good days are starting to out number the bad. I have to remind myself to take it a little at a time. Reminding myself that the clothes on the floor don't matter. That the dust on the shelf will still be there tomorrow. That paper plates are ok to use for dinner. And that the people who come see me are not looking at my failures that are so apparent to me.
I know that I am a good mom, I know that I am a good wife, and I know that I am a good person.
Having postpartum depression is a real thing. And it is something that is not talked about enough. It makes woman feel lonely thinking that they are the only ones that are going through it and there must be something wrong with them. And as women we are good at putting a smile on our face when we are out with others even though we are struggling and then come home and hide to cry or to crawl into bed to shut out the world, or to close the door to the closet and just sit in the dark so the demons that are in her head don't come out.
If you are reading this, and have suffered from PPD you are not alone. Whether you have one child and are having a hard time or 12 children and are feeling the same way you are not alone. I know I only have PPD a small fraction of what others have suffered with it, but it horrible just the same.
We need to help each other and not wait for someone to ask for help. Because the woman who seems to have it all together is not going to ask. We need to be there for each other to life each other and to strengthen each other, and do for each other.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
SWIM.....
Finally I know..... I'm sorry that it took so long to get some pictures up. I have been dealing with a lot of stuff and pictures have been on the back of my mind.
Here you go!
Here you go!
The Monday before I delivered, I had high hopes of walking the 2 miles that I did that he would come, no such luck but the boys and I had fun anyway.
FINALLY!! he made is debut!! All 8 pounds 8 ounces of him {he was 20 inches long} nice and big.
Home from the hospital, all snuggled in. {he looks so tiny here}
The cute outfit I bought to bring him home is was.... to SMALL!!! he has LONG legs and huge feet!
He hated being messed with during his nap. He would curl into a ball and cover his face.
{I love me some baby toes!}
Just after bath time.
He looks like a sleeping Jedi here.
I have more pictures that from my phone that I will post, and I took updated ones of the boys the other day so I will flood your eyes with more pictures on another day.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Little Time to Spare
I was a week and 4 days overdue. But when you really think about it, what is "due" anyway. I wasn't really counting down, but... people would ask anyway. And as well meaning as they were it really started to get at me all the advice that I was given to get the baby out. I love being pregnant {minus the horrible morning sickness I got this time} I think I have a great pregnant body and other than having trouble getting up off the couch or out of bed I don't have any problems.
So, my due date came and went and actually I was really glad. I'm not sure what the problem was but I was in a terrible mood and I took it out on the boys. I later apologized and I prayed that I wouldn't have the baby that Monday. I didn't want to the boys to remember me a being upset when I went to the hospital. So after that day I was determined to make every day a good one. So when I left to go to the hospital, they would know that this was a happy time.
This pregnancy was so different, I was determined to go natural. It's not for everybody, but it was for me. I have been on picotin twice, and had two babies via C-section. If we were to leave the option open for any more to come to our family it had to be natural. I didn't fare well after Benji was born and I didn't think that any more C-sections would be safe for my body.
I found a doctor that was willing to deliver me naturally, but it had to be in the hospital. And so it was.
After I was a full week late, I was asked to come in to have a stress test and to check my levels. The baby was fine, other than being in an awkward position, sitting more on my hip than down in the birth canal. But my placenta was not looking good. It was starting to calcify and looking old. I was told that it probably wasn't safe for me to go even a whole week more. I had until Friday to begin labor or I was to be induced.
My midwife told me to take Blue and Black Cohosh every thirty minutes for 4 hours that first day and then the next day..... to try Castor Oil.
Ugh!!! both were so gross!!!!
But, I did it. Wednesday morning I got up and had breakfast. Played with the boys and cleaned a little. I put the castor oil in some grape juice and chugged it down. I really was expecting something to happen right away. It didn't, an honestly I was a little disappointed. I tried really hard to relax and just enjoy the day, but staying close to the bathroom.
I took my second round of castor oil in the afternoon, and laid down for a nap. I woke up to some pain, but then it went away. I got up to make sure things were ready to go. But nothing more happened.
All of a sudden I remember looking at the clock and seeing that it was 4:00 and that I had to start dinner, but I didn't feel like moving. I had started contracting and even though they were nothing to sing over I had forgotten everything else that needed to be done. I finally got up to make dinner and by the time it was ready it was 6:00 and the thought of eating anything made me sick. So I sat at the table with the family, just enjoying the time that I was having with them. I told Steve that I was contracting about every 5 minutes. I was having a hard time moving but helped the boys get ready for bed any way.
We had family prayer and told the boys that soon I would be going to the hospital to have our baby brother. It was a sweet moment with the boys as they were so concerned about me.
By now it was 8:00 and I had called my midwife and my friend Diana to let them know what was going on. James finally got home from Scouts soon after that and I felt like because all the boys were here and safe I could leave now. I labored at home for a little while longer and just sat on the couch and hummed.
It was 10:00 and I could tell that I was transitioning into active labor. One more call to the midwife, and to Diana and it was time to leave. The only hospital that would allow me to deliver naturally was an hour away. And we were off.
Normally the drive seems pretty long, but that time it didn't feel that way, and we were there about 11:00. My midwife was at the doors waiting for me ready to wheel me up, but I just got done sitting and I really wanted to walk. So walk I did.
I had never been in labor before and this was all new to me. It amazed me how inward I turned when I started contracting. I just remember holding Steve and the world seemed to fade away.
I made it up to Labor and Delivery.
Now because I am a VBAC I had to be monitored at least for a little while and then I could get back up and walk again if that is what I wanted. So I got changed and laid on the bed to be monitored, and that's when I panicked.
I had felt really good being upright and walking but as soon as I laid down I was in so much pain. I tried to get up and walk again but the monitors were saying that his heart rate was really low, and that he wasn't dealing with the contractions well. The words C-sections were being whispered. I started to breath funny and was put on oxygen. I didn't want any drugs but I was ok with them putting in a line for that "just in case" moment.
All this time I was dilating,when we arrived at the hospital I was at 4 cm. During the commotion I was told I was at an 8. Everything was moving so fast. I was trying to remember to breath, and trying to get comfortable.
And then it was like time stopped.
I was at 10 cm. and was told to start pushing. I was so tired from the pain that I was in that I felt like I had a hard time pushing.
Steve was wonderful, he was right there the whole time and was telling me that I can do this. I remember looking up at him and feeling so loved by him. I remember him walking away... probably just to move for a moment for one of the nurses, and in that moment I felt so lost with out him.
I also had a doula, Janice. I was unsure if I wanted to have a doula with me, but a wonderful friend said I should. I found a wonderful woman to help me. And although there really wasn't time to do a whole lot her just being there was a big help and a great comfort. I liked having so many people on my side to help me achieve this.
I pushed through one contraction, oh, the pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, I just wanted to leave. I wanted to be done. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to just die.
But it was also in that moment when I felt lifted up. I knew there were lots of people around me, most that I didn't know. But I felt like there were many people that were there that I did know, that knew me. That cared for me and that loved me. I have 3 special Grandmas, and I felt them there.
Grandma Jean, my dad's mom. A wonderful woman with such a sense of humor, but could be cranky too. I loved her and she was so fun to talk to because the conversation would always turn funny because she would forget what we were talking about. I'm glad that I remember her as a working woman, because as she got older her body became more frail. I was able to get a picture with her and my dad and James in a 4 generation picture.
My Grandma Lower, my mom's mom. My sister and I would go back to Michigan every summer for visitation with my mom, and we spent so much time with my grandma. She was a spunky woman, and hard working. Her and my Grandpa owned a little fast food place called the Snack Shack. She worked there with my Grandpa for years, until they no longer owned it. She always made it a fun place for my sister and I to be. She was a golfer when she was younger, and I remember that there were days that my sister and I would have a sitter because she was not going to miss her Bridge game with her friends. I don't think I realized how much I loved her until she passed away.
My Great Grandma Ester. I remember her white hair that was done every week at the salon, I remember the smell of her house, and the big front window where the birds would sit on her bush. I remember the pies and cookies that she made for the holidays.
I felt these wonderful women there with me, doing something that women do.
I was told to push during a contraction and felt him move down. Then during the second contraction I felt a rush of pain and my body being opened in two, and then, nothing. He was out and my body was again mine. And the pain was gone.
I did it. I did something that women for ages have been doing. I climbed the mountain that I wanted to climb and descended down the other side with a new understanding of what women hood means to me. I felt everything, every pain, and in turn was able to feel the overwhelming joy as well.
I had my eyes closed the whole time trying to focus with what little I could, and I remember saying to myself to "open your eyes" I did and there he was a perfect baby boy. He was peeing everywhere and was crying. I took him and fell in love. He was born at 12:02am that Thursday morning, a little over an hour after we got to the hospital.
They put him on my chest and he just looked up at me. I looked into those dark eyes and am pretty sure that he could see into my soul. I think babies are like that. They have a way of knowing things and a way of looking at you that tells you that they know exactly what is going on.
This was the first time that a baby, my baby, was all mine. The nurses didn't take him away from me I held him and snuggled him, and nursed him. I delivered my placenta and still he was with me. I opened the blanket just to look at him. I am always amazed that out of two small things, a sperm and an egg, that a perfect human being can be formed. This body that I created for this spirit was perfect.
After about an hour I let go of him to get cleaned up myself. A nurse took the baby while I was busy. It felt so good to be in control of my body, shaky as it was. As soon as I was back in bed he was back in my arms.
Things died down and the chaos that was there only a short time ago was gone.
Soon it was just Steve and I alone with out new child. Another boy. We had talked about names before and were pretty sure what he would be named but we talked about it to make sure. Nathaniel Swim. Our boys are named after great men that we know and this was no exception. He is named after a battle buddy of Steve's who has gone on to become a wonderful friend of the family. We decided that we would call him Swim. A fun nickname that has a wonderful story to go with it.
Steve decided that he would head home and be there when the boys wake up to tell them the good news.
Finally, it was just Swim and I. Alone together. I just held him close and smelt him. There really is something magical about the way a newborn smells. I was so awake, and the adrenaline high that I was on was amazing. I felt like I could do anything at that moment.
I held him and loved him and cuddled him and sang to him until the darkness of the sky began to lighten. I held him as he melted into me and we both finally fell asleep.
So, my due date came and went and actually I was really glad. I'm not sure what the problem was but I was in a terrible mood and I took it out on the boys. I later apologized and I prayed that I wouldn't have the baby that Monday. I didn't want to the boys to remember me a being upset when I went to the hospital. So after that day I was determined to make every day a good one. So when I left to go to the hospital, they would know that this was a happy time.
This pregnancy was so different, I was determined to go natural. It's not for everybody, but it was for me. I have been on picotin twice, and had two babies via C-section. If we were to leave the option open for any more to come to our family it had to be natural. I didn't fare well after Benji was born and I didn't think that any more C-sections would be safe for my body.
I found a doctor that was willing to deliver me naturally, but it had to be in the hospital. And so it was.
After I was a full week late, I was asked to come in to have a stress test and to check my levels. The baby was fine, other than being in an awkward position, sitting more on my hip than down in the birth canal. But my placenta was not looking good. It was starting to calcify and looking old. I was told that it probably wasn't safe for me to go even a whole week more. I had until Friday to begin labor or I was to be induced.
My midwife told me to take Blue and Black Cohosh every thirty minutes for 4 hours that first day and then the next day..... to try Castor Oil.
Ugh!!! both were so gross!!!!
But, I did it. Wednesday morning I got up and had breakfast. Played with the boys and cleaned a little. I put the castor oil in some grape juice and chugged it down. I really was expecting something to happen right away. It didn't, an honestly I was a little disappointed. I tried really hard to relax and just enjoy the day, but staying close to the bathroom.
I took my second round of castor oil in the afternoon, and laid down for a nap. I woke up to some pain, but then it went away. I got up to make sure things were ready to go. But nothing more happened.
All of a sudden I remember looking at the clock and seeing that it was 4:00 and that I had to start dinner, but I didn't feel like moving. I had started contracting and even though they were nothing to sing over I had forgotten everything else that needed to be done. I finally got up to make dinner and by the time it was ready it was 6:00 and the thought of eating anything made me sick. So I sat at the table with the family, just enjoying the time that I was having with them. I told Steve that I was contracting about every 5 minutes. I was having a hard time moving but helped the boys get ready for bed any way.
We had family prayer and told the boys that soon I would be going to the hospital to have our baby brother. It was a sweet moment with the boys as they were so concerned about me.
By now it was 8:00 and I had called my midwife and my friend Diana to let them know what was going on. James finally got home from Scouts soon after that and I felt like because all the boys were here and safe I could leave now. I labored at home for a little while longer and just sat on the couch and hummed.
It was 10:00 and I could tell that I was transitioning into active labor. One more call to the midwife, and to Diana and it was time to leave. The only hospital that would allow me to deliver naturally was an hour away. And we were off.
Normally the drive seems pretty long, but that time it didn't feel that way, and we were there about 11:00. My midwife was at the doors waiting for me ready to wheel me up, but I just got done sitting and I really wanted to walk. So walk I did.
I had never been in labor before and this was all new to me. It amazed me how inward I turned when I started contracting. I just remember holding Steve and the world seemed to fade away.
I made it up to Labor and Delivery.
Now because I am a VBAC I had to be monitored at least for a little while and then I could get back up and walk again if that is what I wanted. So I got changed and laid on the bed to be monitored, and that's when I panicked.
I had felt really good being upright and walking but as soon as I laid down I was in so much pain. I tried to get up and walk again but the monitors were saying that his heart rate was really low, and that he wasn't dealing with the contractions well. The words C-sections were being whispered. I started to breath funny and was put on oxygen. I didn't want any drugs but I was ok with them putting in a line for that "just in case" moment.
All this time I was dilating,when we arrived at the hospital I was at 4 cm. During the commotion I was told I was at an 8. Everything was moving so fast. I was trying to remember to breath, and trying to get comfortable.
And then it was like time stopped.
I was at 10 cm. and was told to start pushing. I was so tired from the pain that I was in that I felt like I had a hard time pushing.
Steve was wonderful, he was right there the whole time and was telling me that I can do this. I remember looking up at him and feeling so loved by him. I remember him walking away... probably just to move for a moment for one of the nurses, and in that moment I felt so lost with out him.
I also had a doula, Janice. I was unsure if I wanted to have a doula with me, but a wonderful friend said I should. I found a wonderful woman to help me. And although there really wasn't time to do a whole lot her just being there was a big help and a great comfort. I liked having so many people on my side to help me achieve this.
I pushed through one contraction, oh, the pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, I just wanted to leave. I wanted to be done. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to just die.
But it was also in that moment when I felt lifted up. I knew there were lots of people around me, most that I didn't know. But I felt like there were many people that were there that I did know, that knew me. That cared for me and that loved me. I have 3 special Grandmas, and I felt them there.
Grandma Jean, my dad's mom. A wonderful woman with such a sense of humor, but could be cranky too. I loved her and she was so fun to talk to because the conversation would always turn funny because she would forget what we were talking about. I'm glad that I remember her as a working woman, because as she got older her body became more frail. I was able to get a picture with her and my dad and James in a 4 generation picture.
My Grandma Lower, my mom's mom. My sister and I would go back to Michigan every summer for visitation with my mom, and we spent so much time with my grandma. She was a spunky woman, and hard working. Her and my Grandpa owned a little fast food place called the Snack Shack. She worked there with my Grandpa for years, until they no longer owned it. She always made it a fun place for my sister and I to be. She was a golfer when she was younger, and I remember that there were days that my sister and I would have a sitter because she was not going to miss her Bridge game with her friends. I don't think I realized how much I loved her until she passed away.
My Great Grandma Ester. I remember her white hair that was done every week at the salon, I remember the smell of her house, and the big front window where the birds would sit on her bush. I remember the pies and cookies that she made for the holidays.
I felt these wonderful women there with me, doing something that women do.
I was told to push during a contraction and felt him move down. Then during the second contraction I felt a rush of pain and my body being opened in two, and then, nothing. He was out and my body was again mine. And the pain was gone.
I did it. I did something that women for ages have been doing. I climbed the mountain that I wanted to climb and descended down the other side with a new understanding of what women hood means to me. I felt everything, every pain, and in turn was able to feel the overwhelming joy as well.
I had my eyes closed the whole time trying to focus with what little I could, and I remember saying to myself to "open your eyes" I did and there he was a perfect baby boy. He was peeing everywhere and was crying. I took him and fell in love. He was born at 12:02am that Thursday morning, a little over an hour after we got to the hospital.
They put him on my chest and he just looked up at me. I looked into those dark eyes and am pretty sure that he could see into my soul. I think babies are like that. They have a way of knowing things and a way of looking at you that tells you that they know exactly what is going on.
This was the first time that a baby, my baby, was all mine. The nurses didn't take him away from me I held him and snuggled him, and nursed him. I delivered my placenta and still he was with me. I opened the blanket just to look at him. I am always amazed that out of two small things, a sperm and an egg, that a perfect human being can be formed. This body that I created for this spirit was perfect.
After about an hour I let go of him to get cleaned up myself. A nurse took the baby while I was busy. It felt so good to be in control of my body, shaky as it was. As soon as I was back in bed he was back in my arms.
Things died down and the chaos that was there only a short time ago was gone.
Soon it was just Steve and I alone with out new child. Another boy. We had talked about names before and were pretty sure what he would be named but we talked about it to make sure. Nathaniel Swim. Our boys are named after great men that we know and this was no exception. He is named after a battle buddy of Steve's who has gone on to become a wonderful friend of the family. We decided that we would call him Swim. A fun nickname that has a wonderful story to go with it.
Steve decided that he would head home and be there when the boys wake up to tell them the good news.
Finally, it was just Swim and I. Alone together. I just held him close and smelt him. There really is something magical about the way a newborn smells. I was so awake, and the adrenaline high that I was on was amazing. I felt like I could do anything at that moment.
I held him and loved him and cuddled him and sang to him until the darkness of the sky began to lighten. I held him as he melted into me and we both finally fell asleep.
Labels:
Birth Stories,
Nathaniel,
Swim
Thursday, January 24, 2013
No Rush to the Hospital
It wasn't really a special day. Nothing new had happened to have me predict what that evening would hold. I cleaned the house and went for a walk, and was planning on going to a friends house for dinner that night.
I was past due with our baby boy, James. I was feeling restless, but not to bad. When I woke that Saturday morning I was a little wet, but didn't really think anything of it, I mean I am over due with a baby sitting on my bladder.
I showered and got on with my day. I noticed that I was leaking all day long, so I decided that I would call the doctor's office. I was told to call the hospital to see if they had a bed that I could use. I did... they did.
I wasn't contracting and I felt really good, so I took my time getting ready. We dropped off our drinks at my friends house and left to the hospital.
I remember Steve saying this was not how he pictured going to the hospital with our first one. He wanted to be rushing down the road, honking and swerving to get to the hospital on time.
It wasn't like that.
We walked in and I was checked, and my bag of water had torn... not broken completely, but enough to be leaking amniotic fluid, and had been for a while. So I was admitted.
After some discussion it was determined that I had been leaking for more than 24 hours. Now because there was a risk of infection I was given penicillin right away, and it was suggested that I be put on pictocin as well to hurry things along. At that point I hadn't yet started having contractions.
They must have cranked up the pictocin because I remember seeing one nurse in the room, and the next thing that I new there was a whole team of people in there. I had passed out. I think it was just to much to fast. And I got an epidural.
The epidural was nice, except I could feel every contraction on my left side, until it was fixed.
The hours passed... and passed... every time I was checked I had only dilated a half of a centimeter. I labored through the night and in Sunday morning things still weren't progressing very fast.
A doctor came in and broke my water completely and there was meconium in the fluid.
A little before lunch time {about 16 hours after we got there} I was checked again and was still only at an 8, I was told that I could labor for another 45 minutes before they would prep the OR for a C-section.
The nurses came in and said that I could do a couple practice pushes, and that must have opened me up a little more because soon I was in full pushing mode.
My friend EmilieAn came in to help with the labor and to be my extra support. At one point Steve was holding my leg and dropped it. I was so worried that not only could I not feel my leg but now I couldn't see it either!
I pushed for about 2 hours. I was able to push even with an epidural, but I couldn't tell what progress... if any was being made.
Finally!!! I was told that he was crowning and to stop pushing for a minute. I was so confused... but I later found out that James had his hand on his head when he was born so I birthed his head arm and shoulder all in one.
After a few more pushes he was out. The cord was cut and he was placed on my chest. He didn't cry at first so they took him to suction him out a little more because of the meconium, they wanted to make sure he hadn't aspirated any. After everything was cleared away he was given back to me.
I looked down at my chunky little baby. He was 9 pound, 10 ounces and 22.5 inches long. He was a huge baby. He came with rolls and big checks and big blue eyes. I remember looking at him and him looking at me. And there we were just trying to figure each other out. Time stopped and at that time I don't remember there being anyone else in the world except he and I.
Sunday afternoon on a sunny day in December, James made me a mom.
It is the best job that I have ever had, and I'm so glad it started with James.
I was past due with our baby boy, James. I was feeling restless, but not to bad. When I woke that Saturday morning I was a little wet, but didn't really think anything of it, I mean I am over due with a baby sitting on my bladder.
I showered and got on with my day. I noticed that I was leaking all day long, so I decided that I would call the doctor's office. I was told to call the hospital to see if they had a bed that I could use. I did... they did.
I wasn't contracting and I felt really good, so I took my time getting ready. We dropped off our drinks at my friends house and left to the hospital.
I remember Steve saying this was not how he pictured going to the hospital with our first one. He wanted to be rushing down the road, honking and swerving to get to the hospital on time.
It wasn't like that.
We walked in and I was checked, and my bag of water had torn... not broken completely, but enough to be leaking amniotic fluid, and had been for a while. So I was admitted.
After some discussion it was determined that I had been leaking for more than 24 hours. Now because there was a risk of infection I was given penicillin right away, and it was suggested that I be put on pictocin as well to hurry things along. At that point I hadn't yet started having contractions.
They must have cranked up the pictocin because I remember seeing one nurse in the room, and the next thing that I new there was a whole team of people in there. I had passed out. I think it was just to much to fast. And I got an epidural.
The epidural was nice, except I could feel every contraction on my left side, until it was fixed.
The hours passed... and passed... every time I was checked I had only dilated a half of a centimeter. I labored through the night and in Sunday morning things still weren't progressing very fast.
A doctor came in and broke my water completely and there was meconium in the fluid.
A little before lunch time {about 16 hours after we got there} I was checked again and was still only at an 8, I was told that I could labor for another 45 minutes before they would prep the OR for a C-section.
The nurses came in and said that I could do a couple practice pushes, and that must have opened me up a little more because soon I was in full pushing mode.
My friend EmilieAn came in to help with the labor and to be my extra support. At one point Steve was holding my leg and dropped it. I was so worried that not only could I not feel my leg but now I couldn't see it either!
I pushed for about 2 hours. I was able to push even with an epidural, but I couldn't tell what progress... if any was being made.
Finally!!! I was told that he was crowning and to stop pushing for a minute. I was so confused... but I later found out that James had his hand on his head when he was born so I birthed his head arm and shoulder all in one.
After a few more pushes he was out. The cord was cut and he was placed on my chest. He didn't cry at first so they took him to suction him out a little more because of the meconium, they wanted to make sure he hadn't aspirated any. After everything was cleared away he was given back to me.
I looked down at my chunky little baby. He was 9 pound, 10 ounces and 22.5 inches long. He was a huge baby. He came with rolls and big checks and big blue eyes. I remember looking at him and him looking at me. And there we were just trying to figure each other out. Time stopped and at that time I don't remember there being anyone else in the world except he and I.
Sunday afternoon on a sunny day in December, James made me a mom.
It is the best job that I have ever had, and I'm so glad it started with James.
Labels:
Baby,
Birth Stories
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)